So- if you think this might be directed at you, it probably is. Don’t take offense, or think that I hate you
because you may have crossed a line or two, just listen to the rules and try to
follow them. I’ll like you MUCH better
if you do, trust me!
As you read, please keep in mind this was written VERY late at night... which reminds me of an 11th rule! Late nights are bad... I do not function well late at night; anything important, if it's not life-threatening, should wait until morning, when I can actually deal with it!
(I may randomly add to this posting whenever I realize a new rule- so you may want to check back!)
As you read, please keep in mind this was written VERY late at night... which reminds me of an 11th rule! Late nights are bad... I do not function well late at night; anything important, if it's not life-threatening, should wait until morning, when I can actually deal with it!
(I may randomly add to this posting whenever I realize a new rule- so you may want to check back!)
10 Rules for
Living Comfortably with Rebecca Wiese
(OR- Preventing Rebecca
Wiese from Becoming a Homicidal Maniac)
1.
Don’t be
clingy. There is nothing that will
make me dislike you more, faster than clinging to me. Clingy behavior includes-
a.
Texting/calling/messaging me EVERY DAY
(seriously- just one day off goes a LONG way)
b.
Getting overtly upset if I don’t text/call you
first. If I want or need something from
you, I’ll call. If not, I just won’t think about it. (If you don’t think we
talk enough, see 4)
2. I
will always be happy to help with any problem you might have. HOWEVER- if you want to talk about your
problem with me, PLEASE let me know what you want from me if you can. Should I just listen? Offer solutions? Fix the problem myself? I AM NOT A MIND READER. Tell
me what you want from me.
3.
Please don’t
talk to me about nothing- especially over, and over, and over again. I can only take so many repetitions of the
same boring, meaningless conversations.
Seriously- I am happiest when you either have something to say that
ACTUALLY requires I use my brain, or when you leave me alone to think by
myself. (It’s an introvert thing.)
a.
Sub-note: I’m ok with occasional ‘dead-air’
conversations. Just not frequent ones.
4.
Respect
the schedule! I do not do things
last-minute very often- I generally like planning my days and weeks well in
advance. So-
a.
The best way to be able to see/talk to me is to
simply schedule something.
b.
Anything you need me to do NEEDS to be scheduled
as far in advance as possible (But don’t go crazy- next year does NOT need a
schedule this week, unless it’s December already)
c.
The occasional ‘wild card’ or random,
last-minute event is ok, but don’t get offended if I turn you down because you
asked the day before. Even if there’s
nothing on the schedule, I might just not want to deal with the stress of doing
something so last-minute.
5.
Respect
my space! I love my personal space-
be it mental, verbal, social, emotional, or physical. (Bet you didn’t even know
I HAD that much space, huh?) Don’t be
pushy, and don’t crowd me. Tips to help
include-
a.
Hugs are good- ‘glomping’ is bad. After you hug me, LET GO.
b.
If I hide behind social niceties instead of
actually telling you how my day went, it’s probably because I don’t want to
talk about it. Change the topic.
c.
If I choose not to answer a question, or I
side-step a topic, let it slide. If I wanted
to talk about it, I’d BE talking about it.
6.
That said, face-to-face
talks are better than voice and/or text conversations. I hate talking on the phone almost as much as
I hate texting or IMing. Is it convenient?
Sure- so use it to make plans to talk to me in person, if you have something
really important to say. (I’m really big
on tone, expressions, and body language.
I don’t like missing cues- blame my mom.)
7. Forewarned is not as stressed! If you do plan on addressing something I’ll
likely find stressful, or might need some time to process, it’s nice to give me
a heads-up beforehand. Just knowing that
what you need to talk about MIGHT be a
bit stress-inducing for me will help me brace myself for impact so I’m not left
floundering when whatever you say hits me right out of left field.
8. If
you have a question just ask, and be
direct. (Not a mind reader!) I can’t
answer a question you never actually asked.
And don’t just assume that I know what you’re trying to ask when you
gingerly hedge around a topic. Just ask-
I’ll be able to clear the air much faster and easier that way.
9. Along
with the above, it’s helpful to be
honest when you need and/or want something. (See 2 and 8. Seriously, mind-reading is not my thing.) If you are-
a. Upset
by one of MY behaviors because it upsets or inconveniences you- address the
issue so we can compromise.
b. Needing
a favor- How am I supposed to do it if you won’t ask?
c.
Feeling as though there’s been a miscommunication
between us- Let me know so I can clear the air.
10. Pay attention. I’m just as bad as anyone else about letting
people know when I’m feeling upset, under-appreciated, or over-used by my
friends and family. On the other hand, I’m
also really bad about letting people know how much I care about them, or
appreciate them. Generally, it’s the
little things that let you know what’s going on in my head. (Unless of course, you are using rule 8)
