We're moving!

Hey everyone!  So Jeddie and I are parting ways... sad but true! (Not like we won't still be constantly reading each others' stuff, and talking about each other.. but still!)

So Jeddie's new blog is titled 'Imagining in Ink' and can be reached with this link (http://thejeddiemae.blogspot.com/)

Mine is 'Seeing in Color' and can be found here (http://whispermask.blogspot.com/)

This blog will be taken down after a week or so.
Thanks for reading our stuff here, and being so supportive of our randomness. :)

My Rules! -Rebecca

So- if you think this might be directed at you, it probably is.  Don’t take offense, or think that I hate you because you may have crossed a line or two, just listen to the rules and try to follow them.  I’ll like you MUCH better if you do, trust me!

As you read, please keep in mind this was written VERY late at night... which reminds me of an 11th rule!  Late nights are bad... I do not function well late at night; anything important, if it's not life-threatening, should wait until morning, when I can actually deal with it!
(I may randomly add to this posting whenever I realize a new rule- so you may want to check back!)

10 Rules for Living Comfortably with Rebecca Wiese

(OR- Preventing Rebecca Wiese from Becoming a Homicidal Maniac)
 

   1.       Don’t be clingy.  There is nothing that will make me dislike you more, faster than clinging to me.  Clingy behavior includes-

a.       Texting/calling/messaging me EVERY DAY (seriously- just one day off goes a LONG way)

b.      Getting overtly upset if I don’t text/call you first.  If I want or need something from you, I’ll call. If not, I just won’t think about it. (If you don’t think we talk enough, see 4)

   2.       I will always be happy to help with any problem you might have.  HOWEVER- if you want to talk about your problem with me, PLEASE let me know what you want from me if you can.  Should I just listen? Offer solutions?  Fix the problem myself?  I AM NOT A MIND READER.  Tell me what you want from me.

   3.       Please don’t talk to me about nothing- especially over, and over, and over again.  I can only take so many repetitions of the same boring, meaningless conversations.  Seriously- I am happiest when you either have something to say that ACTUALLY requires I use my brain, or when you leave me alone to think by myself.  (It’s an introvert thing.)

a.       Sub-note: I’m ok with occasional ‘dead-air’ conversations.  Just not frequent ones.

   4.       Respect the schedule!  I do not do things last-minute very often- I generally like planning my days and weeks well in advance.  So-

a.       The best way to be able to see/talk to me is to simply schedule something.

b.      Anything you need me to do NEEDS to be scheduled as far in advance as possible (But don’t go crazy- next year does NOT need a schedule this week, unless it’s December already)

c.       The occasional ‘wild card’ or random, last-minute event is ok, but don’t get offended if I turn you down because you asked the day before.  Even if there’s nothing on the schedule, I might just not want to deal with the stress of doing something so last-minute.

   5.       Respect my space!  I love my personal space- be it mental, verbal, social, emotional, or physical. (Bet you didn’t even know I HAD that much space, huh?)  Don’t be pushy, and don’t crowd me.  Tips to help include-

a.       Hugs are good- ‘glomping’ is bad.  After you hug me, LET GO.

b.      If I hide behind social niceties instead of actually telling you how my day went, it’s probably because I don’t want to talk about it. Change the topic.

c.       If I choose not to answer a question, or I side-step a topic, let it slide.  If I wanted to talk about it, I’d BE talking about it.

   6.       That said, face-to-face talks are better than voice and/or text conversations.  I hate talking on the phone almost as much as I hate texting or IMing.  Is it convenient? Sure- so use it to make plans to talk to me in person, if you have something really important to say.  (I’m really big on tone, expressions, and body language.  I don’t like missing cues- blame my mom.)

   7.       Forewarned is not as stressed!  If you do plan on addressing something I’ll likely find stressful, or might need some time to process, it’s nice to give me a heads-up beforehand.  Just knowing that what you need to talk about MIGHT  be a bit stress-inducing for me will help me brace myself for impact so I’m not left floundering when whatever you say hits me right out of left field.

   8.       If you have a question just ask, and be direct.  (Not a mind reader!) I can’t answer a question you never actually asked.  And don’t just assume that I know what you’re trying to ask when you gingerly hedge around a topic.  Just ask- I’ll be able to clear the air much faster and easier that way.

   9.       Along with the above, it’s helpful to be honest when you need and/or want something. (See 2 and 8. Seriously, mind-reading is not my thing.) If you are-

a.       Upset by one of MY behaviors because it upsets or inconveniences you- address the issue so we can compromise.

b.      Needing a favor- How am I supposed to do it if you won’t ask?

c.       Feeling as though there’s been a miscommunication between us- Let me know so I can clear the air.

   10.   Pay attention.  I’m just as bad as anyone else about letting people know when I’m feeling upset, under-appreciated, or over-used by my friends and family.  On the other hand, I’m also really bad about letting people know how much I care about them, or appreciate them.  Generally, it’s the little things that let you know what’s going on in my head.  (Unless of course, you are using rule 8)

Looks Matter- Rebecca

I have come to a personal decision, a conclusion if you will, that may or may not be important to anyone besides myself, but here goes- Looks matter.

Everyone tells you they don’t, especially girls.  We struggle so much with our looks as it is, you see, with the world screaming at us to fulfill some wildly impossible ideal with a driven obsession that is neither healthy nor desirable.  And I’m certainly not condoning that kind of obsessed, self- or world-driven ideal.  Because looks certainly aren’t everything.  But they do matter- at least to me.

Maybe it’s because I’m more superficial than most people; or maybe most people are lying to themselves, as well as everyone around them (and I’m sure there are some people who truly believe the ‘looks don’t matter’ mantra); but I find it is pretty much impossible for me to disregard someone’s physical appearance- my own included.

Maybe it’s the artist in me, but I like to look at pretty things.  Things that are just pleasing to look at, just for the sake of looking; faces and forms that have elements that practically beg to be immortalized in paint or pencil, simply because they look good.  No more, no less.  Just sheer physical appearance.

Looks also tell you something about a person- not just the way they dress, or how they cut their hair, or how much makeup they wear, or whether or not they happen to be clean-shaven or not; all of which tells you quite a bit about their personality and habits.  But beyond that superficial nonsense, a person’s appearance often shapes how they see themselves, as well as how the world sees them.

It’s an integral part of who you are- the way you look.  We all have mirrors- there’s likely not a single home without one.  One of the mile-markers of infant development is when a child learns to recognize their own reflection.  How we look is a vital part of our own self-identity- and so is how we think about how we look.

This is often –sometimes sadly, sometimes not- shaped by how others see us.  But it’s also in the quiet moments when we’re alone with the mirror; in the every-day hustle and bustle when we see something in someone else that reminds us distinctly of ourselves- for good or ill.  How we see ourselves shapes the way we stand, dress, act, and especially interact with other people.

So- do looks matter?  Most definitely.  Are you welcome to disagree with that?  Of course!  But before you do, take a good look in the mirror, and ask yourself- do your looks matter?  Either how you see yourself, or how someone else sees you- how important is that, and why?

Fairy tales are NOT reality- Rebecca

((Be warned- this one got a bit angsty.))

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Ok, I admit it… I may not be UNhappy about my single status, but I’m certainly not thrilled about it, either.  And with my sister, one of my really good friends, and several other people I know all getting married this year, and then added to that a brief bit of boy drama not too terribly long ago, love and relationships have really been on my mind a lot lately.  (‘Lately’ here being the last month or so.)

In order for this to make any sense at all, I need to put out some background…

First- I grew up being the ‘princess’ in my house.  Granted, this princess had her OWN sword, and preferred to ride the dragon instead of letting some stupid knight slay it… but I was the one who loved pink, wore long dresses, and cried (dead serious) whenever someone cut my hair, because I wanted to have it as long as Rapunzel’s.  So, fairy-tale romances have been a staple in my literary diet since before I can remember.

Second- My mother, whom I love dearly and respect more than any other woman I know, had a… unique situation that I don’t really want to go into.  But suffice it to say, she didn’t love my dad when they got married.  She liked him, yes- and respected him.  But she didn’t really love him until much later in their marriage.  As a result, I have heard throughout my entire life about how you don’t HAVE to ‘fall in love’ to be happily married, that the butterflies and roses don’t really mean much in the long run, and that ‘young love’ is not only blind, but fairly dumb as well, at least when you let it (or the search for it) control your life.

Third- I think too much.  From my other posts, this should be obvious, but it bears repeating.  I think about EVERYTHING I do, and even everything I think about, to death.  Everything I believe is true, everything I wish and hope for, has been (and continues to be) analyzed within an inch of its life.

So, I’m thinking about love.  And I’m wondering if there really is such a thing as happily ever after, and true love, and if there really is someone out there who is ever going to actually reach my heart and not just my head.

Maybe, I tell myself, I’m just being stupid.  Maybe ‘love’ doesn’t exist the way I (or most people my age) think about it.  Maybe we’re all just lying to ourselves, hoping that if we just believe that lie hard enough, we’ll find a way to lie away all of our doubts and trick ourselves into thinking we’ve found our answer- our ‘one true love’, if that isn’t to cheesy a line to use.

But even the thought of that idea hurts.  Whether that’s because it’s true, and I don’t want it to be; or because a part of me knows it’s not,  I don’t know for sure- and maybe I never will.  But there’s one or two more facts about me you should know-

I’m stupid.  Yeah, I’ll admit it- I’m a dumb, emotional wreck of a stupid, stupid, girl; at least 90% of the time, if not more.

And more than that, I’m stubborn.  It’s genetic, and it’s a trained behavior.  I was never raised to quit on the things I believe in (unless quitting is the smart thing to do- and I think we already established I’m NOT really all that smart. Ever.)

So maybe fairy tales aren’t true, in any sense of the word.  Maybe true love with butterflies and rainbows and roses (and maybe a white horse or two) doesn’t actually exist, and somewhere down the road, I’ll look back and realize what an idiot I’ve been for so many years.  But until then, I’m going to keep on being stupid and stubborn, thank you very much.  Why?  Because I want to; because I need to.  I need a dream to hold onto, I need to have faith in something beyond my understanding of the world.  Because as slim as the chances may be- maybe, just maybe…

 

And maybe ‘just maybe’ is enough.

If I could paint you, my friend- Rebecca

Being an artist, I often think of certain people in terms of images, as I would paint them allegorically. I removed the names that go along with these- if you’re listed here, you might be able to tell anyway; and if not, then that’s ok too. I may do another one of these later, since there are quite a few people I think of in terms of detailed imagery; but in the meantime, these are four of my closest friends at the moment.

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If I could paint you, my friend, I would paint a butterfly. A fragile thing of delicate beauty, fluttering about in a garden of brightly-colored flowers, bringing beauty and joy to all who see you. Some might think you a shallow creature, lacking in purpose or direction- and indeed, you are generally content to flit wherever the breeze takes you. But you should know, my friend- your purpose is in that self-same nature.

You make me smile, you make me laugh. You draw me out of myself and into your world of blossoms and sun. And while I may gently cradle your broken and tattered wings when the storms of life have dashed you to the ground, I always know that when my own heart is storming deep inside of me, those same fragile, brilliant structures will be just enough to sweep back the clouds and let in your light.

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If I could paint you, my friend, I would paint a lake. Surrounded by mountains, in an idyllic valley, accessible only to those who make the effort to find it. Deeper than anyone knows, and smooth as glass on the surface; hiding any sign of turmoil or strife within those limitless depths. Occasionally the wind and rain might whip up high and dangerous waves on that lake, but when the storm passes, the water settles again, hiding anything that has fallen into itself deep within, leaving no sign of its passing on the surface. And then, when the sun shines, it glances off of that glistening surface and turns it into a radiant mirror for the endless sky.

When I am unsettled and anxious, I sometimes feel as though I could pour all of myself –my troubles, my worries, my pain- into those depths, and somehow find within myself some of that stillness, and that peace. You settle me, you help me find that calm within myself when I think it is unreachable.

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If I could paint you, my friend, I would paint a sword, or a dagger. You are the strike of the hammer in the forge- that brilliant flash and sputter of sparks with the clanging ring of metal. You are the charge at the fore-front of battle, the counter-strike to any attack. A leader and a protector in your own, strident way- never a shield, but always a blade.

You are a shining example to me, my friend, my champion- of moving forward; of being nothing more or less than what you are; of shining in the sun like a beacon, unafraid to speak out whatever it is you believe.

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If I could paint you, my friend, I would paint a bird. Sometimes you seem a silly creature, a magpie of sorts; and others you have all of the grace and joy of a robin in the spring. Trying so hard to fly free of everything that might try to hold you back, you never compromise who you feel you are, or should be. A bird does not walk, or swim, it flies- and so you do only what your nature dictates, asking no apology and seeking no vindication from the world.

You always have and always will love to have fun as you fly, and you have always dragged me along into your light-hearted, dizzying games as you fly so high it seems you might fall, only to pull yourself out of the dive inches from the ground and swoop even higher. When I refuse to move, you are a solid peck in the ear. When I am so low to the ground that I can no longer even see the sky, you taunt and tease until I chase you up into the clouds.

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Confessions of a "Smart Kid" - Jeddie

All of my life, I’ve been a “smart kid”. And it sucks. Because when you’re the “smart kid”, that’s all anyone ever notices about you. Us “smart kids” live under tons of pressure: people telling us we should be doctors, lawyers, world-changers, break-through scientists. I’ve heard it all. But apparently, people feel like it’s okay to put tons of pressure on smart kids because we can “handle it”. And no one ever thinks that maybe we don’t want to be a doctor or a lawyer. We have our own dreams, and other talents as well besides academics.

Let me tell you what growing up a “smart kid” is like. First of all, unless you get really lucky, your teacher has problems with you. They may love you, they may hate you. But you cause a problem. Because you are already way ahead of the class, and so you have to be taught differently. Some of us deal with it by being bored and not doing any work at all because it’s so dadgum easy. I’ve been that kid. Some of us get all of our work done super fast, because it’s so easy, and then sit around by ourselves bored. I’ve been that kid too. The worst scenario I’ve had to deal with is the teacher announcing to the class how smart I was or how well-done my work was. The consequences? I was bullied through most of elementary school.

My own scenario was already bad because I went to private schools from second grade until finally going to a State University my sophomore year of college (one of the best decisions I’ve ever made). So the vast majority of my peers in public schools already thought I was a prick. However, even in the private school setting, I was a “smart kid” – which earned me good grades, yes, but no real friends because of the teachers. The only “friends” I had really just wanted me to do their homework for them, with a couple of very appreciated exceptions. There were no honors societies to group us “smart kids” together so we’d have friends at our own level.

Don’t get me wrong, good grades are great! But is it really a good idea to advertize to other students in the class how well one student is doing? Wouldn’t that just make the rest of the class feel underachieved? Less than perfect? I’m experiencing this right now – someone in my family is smarter than I am, and so there are those singing her praises who’ve never sung mine. It sucks. And I don’t want anyone else to feel that way.

This is why I hate when people point out my academic abilities. I don’t care about school, honestly. The only reason I continued my education past high school was because that was the only way my parents would buy me a car. And now that I’m in my junior year, I might as well finish. My point is, let the “smart kid” be the kid that cares about school. Let them be the kid that works hard for that A, as most of us “smart kids” don’t really have to. If you feel like you must point out a students’ abilities, ask their permission first, and be prepared for them to say no. Because they may be a “smart kid” like me.

My grades are not who I am. I would love attention for my novels, for my singing, for my acting, for my service. Because that is who I am. Those are the talents I like most about myself. I hate attention on my grades. Because I know that somewhere if I am getting attention for my grades, there is someone who worked infinitely harder than I did, and didn’t get any attention at all because of the stupid number written in red ink at the top of the page.

Obviously, I am not all "smart kids". I know there are some people who do really well with public praise on the academic abilities. And if it is someone's dream to be smart and go to Med school or Law school, they should go for it. But just remember that "smart kids" are not just their grades. We have our own dreams, that may not be the dreams you think we should have because we're smart.

Top Favorite Songs At The Moment – in no particular order (Jeddie)

Music is a huge part of my life, and oftentimes songs describe my life or impact my life greatly and I just have to share them :)

1. “Set Apart this Dream” by Flyleaf – one thing I really like about this song is that it’s in ¾ time, which is unusual for most rock songs nowadays. It also tells a story – expressing God’s love to “little girls” even though their situations may be rough. It always reminds me that my life is actually pretty great, no matter what is going on, and that I am always “worth so much more than you know.”

2. “William and Davy” by Kate Rusby – A cute song that also tells a story. It has a more folksy, intimate feel to it, without much in the way of background music, which would distract from the story. It also teaches a lesson – don’t get too carried away with your fantasies, or you’ll end up with your “bellies empty and hearts still sore!”

3. “The Maiden and the Selkie” by Heather Dale – Another story-song with a folksy feel to it. The story is adorable, and gets you super involved with the characters. The imagery is also beautiful, providing a clear image of what is going on. Also provides a lesson about true love abiding through adversity.

4. “A Different Kind of Knight” by Christian Kane – Yet another story-song, describing how, as much as sometimes we wish it, a lot of times our lives do not end up like fairy tales. This song is hauntingly beautiful and dark for a country song, again with vivid imagery. Must be followed with a more cheerful tune haha.

5. “Are You Gonna Kiss Me Or Not?” by Thompson Square – An upbeat and fluffy country song, with a lovely, but realistic, love story. My favorite aspect is the emphasis of marriage as the epitome of love, instead of sex like most songs. If I’m not mistaken, the song is performed by a married couple as well, making it all the more believable and rich.

6. “God Is Not A White Man” by Gungor – AMAZING song that I think more people need to hear. Too often we get mixed up in legalism and what we think God believes about politics and such and forget that he is much BIGGER than everything around us. I also like the emphasis on how God loves EVERYONE – no matter who they are, what their background is, etc.

7. “Maid of Llanwellyn” by Kate Rusby – this song is just pretty. I plan on using it as a lullaby when I have kids.

8. “The Rigs of Rye” traditional – This is a traditional Irish song and so has 5000 versions out there – my personal favorite is Niamh Parsons, but the version I own is by Fling. YET ANOTHER story-song with a great love story and vivid imagery.

9. "Straight Through My Heart" by the Backstreet Boys - Simply put, I am a huge Backstreet Boys fan. This was one of the only non-disappointing songs on their newest album This Is Us. It retains a lot of their classic sound but with enough modernity to keep it out of the nineties. I also like their harmonization, which I miss in a lot of the other songs on the album where they are trying to be rappers :( Plus, one of my dearest friends and I recently saw them in concert (which was AMAZING :D) and this was the encore. So it brings back good memories :)

10. "Li'l Red Riding Hood" by Bowling For Soup (I know not the original version, but my favorite) - This song is like just the right mix of creepiness and sweetness to make goosepimples rise on your arms. Jaret Reddick's voice is so young-sounding that it adds an edge of innocence, urging you to trust the wolf that is singing to Little Red. Red Riding Hood is one of my favorite fairytales, including a lot of its interpretations (Hoodwinked, The REAL Story, etc). This song also fits a character for a story my roommate and I are writing, which I will tell you more about if we ever get it published XD and if it is made into a movie, this song will be on the soundtrack.

11. "Star Song" by Bowling For Soup - I LOVE THIS SONG. The message of being beautiful the way we are is something that everyone needs to hear. As a Christian I know it's especially important to remember that God creates everyone the way they are for a reason, so this is a good secular song to remind me of that :)

12. "Sweet Darlin'" by She & Him - When I found out that Zooey Deschanel sang for a band I was so psyched that I had to get their album IMMEDIATELY. And I love it. The style of this song is reminiscent of the fifties and sixties, which is great because no one makes that kind of music anymore. However Deschanel's voice is perfectly suited to the style.

13. "Best Of Me" by The Letter Black - This song is such a powerful act of worship that it demands to be sung at the top of one's lungs with the windows rolled down in the car.