I am a life-long member of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints; Jeddie has told me that she classifies herself as a “Protestant non-Mormon with a fascination for the Reformed Catholic Church, not non-denominational because they are a denomination unto themselves.” (This is summarized… basically, she’s a Christian.) So from a religious standpoint, mine and Jeddie’s relationship is a bit like an anti-cliché. After all, people from pretty drastically different religions are supposed to hate each other, right? Especially the super-organized LDS faith and the, well, whatever she is, it’s not an organization!
We have very differing values- my religion discourages tattoos and more than one pairs of piercings, as a way of honoring the body as a temple. Jeddie uses her tattoo and multiple piercings as a way to decorate herself; she considers that honoring her body. Our opinions also differ in some political areas, such as abortion (a topic for a later time!) My mother has always told me never to discuss politics or religion over dinner; it never ends well. But Jeddie and I never had a problem with our differing faiths or opinions. Why? Respect.
We never really had to lay down any ground rules for this topic, or any other; our relationship was one of mutual understanding from the very beginning, and we had multiple deep religious discussions before we even talked about how okay we were that we disagreed on so many points. And even when we did talk about it, the conversation could be summed up by ‘I have my beliefs, you have yours, we disagree on a lot of stuff, but that’s ok, because I respect you and your beliefs.’ Conversation over.
Wasn’t that simple?
People disagree all the time; it’s one of those universally human facts. But seriously, that doesn’t mean you have to fight over it- or even express your disbelief in a loud, assuming way. Simply state what you believe, or don’t believe, offer an explanation if asked, and then try a novel concept- listening. I love talking to Jeddie about her faith- I’m interested in what she believes, why she believes it, and how it differs from my beliefs. I grew up in the Mormon church; I haven’t had a whole lot of exposure to other faiths. I may be a firm believer in my church, but that doesn’t make what she, or anyone else, believes somehow less valid or important.
As far as Jeddie and I are concerned, Christians are Christians. Then other faiths- well, I respect that too. Muslim girls who wear the head scarf- I applaud your bravery and dedication for expressing your beliefs in the face of so much ridicule. The same goes for my personal friends in the Mennonite community, who also dress ‘abnormally’ (according to society anyway) because of their dedication to their religion.
I believe God gave all human being free agency- the ability to choose. I respect those choices, as long as they cause no harm to anyone else, or restrict another person’s agency. Seriously- you want to blow yourself up for your beliefs? That’s fine by me, as long as you don’t hurt anyone else while you do it. Harming another person (in any way- physical, mental, or emotional,) is wrong. Restricting someone’s agency is wrong. Beyond that, if you can respect me and my faith and beliefs, I will be happy to return the favor.
-Rebecca
