Relationships… the bane of any single person’s life! We want them, but we don’t have them; and then we don’t want them, but we do want them, and it’s all a great big mess, isn’t it?
I have a number of very close friends who are single, and desperately want to be non-singles; if you are like them (and Jeddie is one) I can only sympathize with you. I am one of those bizarre people who is inexplicably happy with my single life. This doesn’t mean I don’t get lonely, or that I wouldn’t like to end up happily married at some point down the road; it just means it’s not something I want in the here and now, with that desperate yearning of someone who’s more than ready to move on to the next stage in their life.
That said, there are some things I’d like to say to the single people out there. Bear in mind that I’ve never had a boyfriend, and I’ve gone on a grand total of one date. I know a LOT about being single- and not a lot (e.g. nothing!) about relationships.
I know the people who want to be in a relationship, like Jeddie, are absolutely bereft that there is this space in their lives and hearts that they are just waiting to have filled by that special someone. I have no words of wisdom on how to find that person, let alone know if they’re ‘The One’. All I can say is have hope, be patient, and live for the present.
Having hope can be the hardest thing in the world when the door keeps getting slammed in your face over and over. You like him, but he likes her. You like her, but she just doesn’t see you that way. It sucks- end of story. But it’s not the end. There is someone out there for everyone, and you just need to find them. (Romantic fairy-tale-princess-wanna-be talking here…)
Along the way, you have to be patient. This is not going to happen when you expect it; my sister Ashley has often told me that love is a funny thing, and tends to just drop out of the sky when you least expect it. She’s engaged to be married, and madly in love, so I’m going to guess she knows what she’s talking about!
Living for the present- Know that God is in control, it will happen when He wants it to happen, and in the meantime, all you can do is take a deep breath, and a good hard look in the mirror. Who are you, really? Who do you want to be, besides a spouse and parent? Are there traits you’d like to change about yourself? Habits you need to acquire, or get rid of? Now is the time to do it.
As soon as that ring is on your finger, it is no longer about you; it is about the partnership you just signed up for, which will last for all of eternity if you’re lucky. And then it’s about the kids, and the job, and the life, and all the little things that pile up until you can’t handle it any more, and you just want to explode, or just take a break, but you can’t, because this is your new life. A bit pessimistic? Maybe; but from what I’ve seen of married couples, especially with kids, not too far off from the truth.
This is the ONLY time you will get to be selfish- to make your life and priorities all about you. Take advantage of it- and more importantly, take time to enjoy it! Learn who you really are before you try to get to know someone else. If you need to change, change for yourself before you need to change for someone else’s benefit. Be you- the complicated, contradictory mess of single-and-hating-it emotions and bundle of nerves that is like no one else on the entire planet. This is your time- live it, love it, and the rest will follow.
